LOVE LESSONS

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Title of my page This was written to share my life's experiences on LESSONS OF LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.


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1. Common values and beliefs are essential.
2. A relationship without trust and honesty has no foundation.
3. The most important thing is to want the best for each other, and to put the other person's needs before your own at least half of the time.
4. You cannot be too demonstrative in showing someone you love them.
5. When I am disappointed in a relationship I withdraw and become aloof and distant.
6. A good relationship is unique and not to carry baggage around. No one needs the burden and the relationship will diminish if either party does.
7. Every relationship is a learning experience. I would say being a good listener and respecting each other’s values and life experiences. Not to be quick to render a judgment and to try and be objective, which does not necessarily mean always agreeing. Open line of communications is a must.
8. To be kind to each other and respect one another, always. And to never forget why you fell in love with that person in the first place.
9. You have to be in love to make it work. And sometimes even love is not enough. Any fighting is too much, and if it feels right it usually is, if doesn’t, then it is not.
10. Everything can be worked out as long as we both commit to honesty and fidelity. Lying and cheating don't belong in a relationship.
11. Choosing a life partner is the most important decision most of us will ever make. One must keep wise criteria in mind when deciding if this person is the person for you. It is imperative to exercise good judgment.
12. There is no point to holding onto someone who’s simply not right for you.
13. If things seem too perfect in a relationship, then it is either the right one or I am overlooking something in the other person . . . or in me.
14. Commitment to the other person grows in time and with experience.
15. Judgment and criticism destroy relationships and polarize two people.
16. I am not perfect and neither is the other person. Cut some slack when needed.
17. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

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18. Forgive and forget.
19. Expectations or demands are a form of control and lead to disappointments. Preferences permit the unexpected to occur without disappointment.
20. Patience is the glue to holding love and relationships together.
21. The other person cannot truly hurt me. I only hurt myself by my own disappointments.
22. Honesty and truthfulness are the core of real love of myself and love for others.
23. Finding the right person is not having to compromise my core values and ethics.
24. The secret of finding the right soul mate is to know and understand that things happen when it is time and when you are ready.
25. Not everyone that says, “I love you!” really means it.
26. Not everyone that you might tell, “I love you!” will believe you or accept it or even understand it.
27. True love runs deep and lasts forever.
28. Beauty fades and physical attraction without love will fade also.
29. People are more willing to believe lies than the truth.
30. People say, “I love you” as easily as “Hi, how are you?”; and don’t really mean it.
31. Some people will love you if it is convenient only.
32. People form perceptions based on fears, not reality.
33. Economic instability can fool love.
34. A person’s fears are sometimes stronger than love.
35. People would rather cling to illusion rather than truth, especially if it is self-made.

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36. Wrongfully thinking love is not possible if he or she lives greater than 5 miles from your home.
37. Assumptions in a relationship wait to be clarified. Don’t wait . . . examine your assumptions.
38. There’s no life living in the past.
39. Everyone has at least one sad story.
40. Everyone has a secret hidden.
41. Everyone wants to blame the other person for things wrong with the relationship.
42. Few people are willing to take responsibility to make a relationship work.
43. We are a throw away society, including relationships when they go wrong.
44. Few people go into a relationship for long term and are willing to stick it out.
45. People take their partners for granted.
46. Expectations kill relationships when not met.
47. Rare is it that a person loves with their whole body, mind and soul.
48. When people are engaged in sex, one or both partners think of other things or other people.
49. Is the relationship strictly for sensual pleasures? Does your mate try to help you out in life? Is your mate loving and considerate to your family? Does your mate avoid your family? Does your mate actually make it from your bedroom to the living room?
50. Does your mate make you feel secure about their fidelity? Tell you their plans, give details? Sex addicts usually give themselves away by their vagueness, not being open to communications when traveling, putting themselves in positions where they can not be checked upon.
51. Take a hard look at your relationship, are you getting as much as you give? How is the attention, do you get as much as you give? Emails, phone calls, presents, dates?
52. Best key to a relationship is being open to it. Working on issues as they arise, taking life one day at a time. Continually rejecting love by having addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, or work is just avoiding life and love. Having to be perfect to have a relationship is stupid.
53. Being secure enough in yourself that you don't try to change your mate into a carbon copy of yourself. Realizing that your mate is an individual, not you.

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54. TRUE MARRIAGE IS WHEN GOD SO JOINS TWO SOULS FOR A PURPOSE GREATER THAN EVEN THEMSELVES--FOR HEALING OF THE WHOLE...IT WOULD BE A UNION WHERE GOD-THE MAN AND THE WOMAN ARE INTERTWINED IN THE RELATEDNESS.... INSEPARABLE BECAUSE OF THE COVENANT THEY MAKE TO EACH OTHER WITH GOD AS THE GLUE THAT BINDS THEIR HEARTS IN LOVE...BECAUSE HE IS PRESENT IN IT.
55. TWO SOULS WHO KNOW THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE AND ARE THOROUGHLY COMMITTED TO RELATEDNESS FOR LIFE.
56. I WILL NOT COMPROMISE FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS...NOT PERFECTION AS IN ALL THINGS PERFECT AND ACCORDING TO THIS FAIRY TALE CINDERELLA DREAM BUT WHERE THE INNER HEARTS OF THE MAN AND WOMAN KNOW THESE THINGS DEEPLY IN THEIR SOULS, MINDS, SPIRITS) ONE BREATH...ONE LIFE....
57. To love is to understand, accept, like and love without judgment, without condition, without restriction, without boundaries, without holding back.
58. FORSAKE ALL OTHERS FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM OF ONENESS IN MARRIAGE...THAT MEANS TO SEEK OUT WAYS TO EASE STRESS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE AVENUES OR PATHWAYS FOR UNFAITHFULNESS TO FLOW INTO.
59. MAKE SURE YOUR CARRY ON BAGGAGE IS NOT TOO HEAVY FOR THE LOAD. IN TODAY'S DATING CULTURE BY THE TIME ONE REACHES THEIR DESTINED MATE THEY BRING WITH THEMSELVES A WHOLE STRING OF BROKEN RELATEDNESS.... FRACTURED PIECES OF THEIR HEART. ONE MUST TREASURE AND GUARD THEIR OWN HEART TO PROTECT IT FROM COMING IN THIS WAY.
60. PROTECT THE PURITY OF YOUR RELATEDNESS TO THOSE ON LINE E-AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE .......WHAT HAPPENS THERE REQUIRES JUST THE SAME ACCOUNTABILITY AS A FACE TO FACE RELATEDNESS...THEY CAN BE POTENTIALLY AFFAIRS OF THE MIND/HEART. IN MARRIAGE FOR ONE PARTNER TO ENTER THESE REALMS WOULD BE POTENTIALLY JUST AS CAPABLE OF DESTROYING A UNION BY CREATING FEELINGS OF REJECTION AND ABANDONMENT IN THE OTHER.
61. KEEP YOUR RELATEDNESS IN A STATE OF "EMOTIONAL DELIGHT"--REJOICE IN IT CONTINUALLY BY REMAINING WITH A THANKFUL HEART. LAUGH AND PLAY TOGETHER.
62. REMEMBER ALWAYS YOUR ACCOUNTABILITY TO GOD...HIS LAWS ARE WRITTEN ON OUR HEARTS (OUR CONSCIENCE AND INSTINCTIVE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL) AND MUST ALWAYS BE LISTENED TO AND FOLLOWED IN ORDER TO REMAIN IN A STATE OF PEACE.
63. PROTECT EACH OTHER BY NOT EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTING EACH OTHER. ..IN THIS WAY KEEPING EACH OTHER BLAMELESS AND HOLY. PROTECT EACH OTHER FROM TEMPTATION BY FULFILLING ALL THE NEEDS OF THE FLESH, HEART, AND MIND.
64. HOLD EACH OTHER AS PRECIOUS.
65. AVOID SITUATIONS WHERE YOU’RE GOING OUTSIDE THE RELATEDNESS FOR EMOTIONAL COMFORT WITH THOSE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. TURN ALWAYS TO THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE IN RELATIONSHIP AND TO GREAT SPIRIT FOR RESOLUTION.
66. IF YOU NOTICE YOUR BEING PURSUED BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR MATE MAKE CLEAR COMMUNICATION THAT YOU HEART IS FULLY GIVEN TO YOUR MARRIAGE ...RELATIONSHIPS OFTEN ACCELERATE SEEMINGLY "INNOCENTLY” BECAUSE WE GET TEMPTED TO ENJOY THE PURSUIT. THESE ARE NOT INNOCENT.
67. DISOBEYING THE LAWS OF LOVE CAUSES A DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO DARKNESS.... ADULTERY LEADS INTO THE REALM OF SECRET SIN THAT LODGES ITSELF IN BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE...CUTTING THE CORD BETWEEN THEM FOREVER.
68. ENTER RELATEDNESS WITH FULL VISION. EAGLE'S VIEW AND PERSPECTIVE. REMEMBER ALL THINGS WORK TOWARD PEACE IF DONE CONSCIOUSLY...CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING YOUR MATE, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING WHETHER OR NOT TO BEAR CHILDREN, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO BIRTH AS AN ACT OF THANKFULNESS, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO LIVE A CERTAIN WAY, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING THE PERIMETERS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BOUNDARIES, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO HONOR THE OTHER IN ALL WAYS, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO EMBRACE FULLY IF APPLICABLE CHILDREN FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO NOURISH THE FREE EXPRESSION OF SPIRIT IN THE OTHER, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO BE AWAKENED, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO MELT LIVES, CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO LOVE IN ALL WAYS....
69. VIOLATING THE PURITY OF THE RELATIONSHIP ON ANY LEVEL BEARS FALSE WITNESS TO THE GOD AND AWAKENING WE REPRESENT.
70. SAY YOUR SORRY TO THE ONE(S) YOU LOVE WHENEVER AND WHEREVER YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE FAILED TO EXPRESS ONLY PURE LOVE TOWARD THEM. FREELY AND HUMBLY ADMIT YOUR SHORTCOMINGS IN WAYS THAT MAINTAIN SELF-RESPECT BUT BUILD CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY AT THE SAME TIME. MUTUAL FORGIVENESS IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A COMMITMENT.
71. COMMUNICATE LOVE IN ALL WAYS.... IN SPOKEN WORD, ACTIONS, AND INTENTION.... THROUGH WORDS AFFIRMING THE OTHERS GOODNESS AND EXISTENCE, TO GIVING THEM QUALITY TIME, TO GIVING AND RECEIVING SIMPLE GIFTS HOWEVER HUMBLE, TO ACTS OF KINDNESS AND SERVICE, TO PHYSICAL TOUCH.... THESE AVENUES OF COMMUNICATING LOVE MUST BE FOSTERED AND DEVELOPED IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE FULL EXPRESSION OF LOVE.

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72. MASTER THE LANGUAGE OF COMPASSION...THE LANGUAGE OF GIVING FROM THE HEART. THIS IS THE LANGUAGE WHERE WE DO NO HARM—WHERE WE DO NOT CREATE ANY HURT OR PAIN.... THIS IS TRUE COMMUNICATION...HEART-FELT. CREATING A RELATEDNESS BASED ON MUTUAL GIVING.
73. IF WE ARE TO DEVELOP AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON WE NEED TO KNOW EACH OTHER'S DESIRES. IF WE WISH TO LOVE EACH OTHER, WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE OTHER PERSON WANTS. WE MUST REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALL JUST TRYING TO GET OUR ESSENTIAL NEEDS MET.
74. SEEK TO LEARN LIKE A MASTER OF THE TRADE HOW THE OTHER PERSON NEEDS TO BE LOVED IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE THE FULL EMOTIONAL CONNECTION OF "BEING LOVED". THOSE WHO COME FROM A DEVOTED LOVING HOME HAVE NEEDS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THAN THOSE WHO COME FROM HOMES VOID OF AFFECTION AND LOVE.
75. AT THE HEART OF MANKIND'S EXISTENCE IS THE DESIRE TO BE INTIMATE, TO LOVE, AND TO BE LOVED BY ANOTHER. MARRIAGE IS DESIGNED TO MEET THAT NEED FOR INTIMACY AND LOVE. GOD AS THE AUTHOR OF ROMANCE AND LOVE CREATED THIS TO BE THE PURE VEHICLE FOR SUCH EXPRESSION....
76. MEETING SOMEONE NEW AND FEELING THE FEELING OF "FALLING IN LOVE" IS SUBJECT TO ILLUSION. THE EUPHORIA OF THOSE INTENSE FEELINGS CAUSES US TO NOT SEE ALL THINGS REALISTICALLY. WE FAIL TO REALIZE THAT HUMAN NATURE IS ESSENTIALLY EGO-CENTRIC.....A WORLD REVOLVING AROUND US. LITTLE BY LITTLE IN TIME THOSE THINGS THAT ARE UNIQUELY US CREEP BACK IN...UNLESS THERE IS SIGNIFICANT AWARENESS, AWAKENING, AND INTENTION CONSCIOUSLY FOCUSING ON OUR OWN GROWTH AND THE GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE OTHER PERSON. A RELATIONSHIP CANNOT BE BASED ON "FEELINGS" ALONE. THIS "FEELING OF FALLING IN LOVE" IS A GENETICALLY DETERMINED INSTINCTIVE COMPONENT OF MATING BEHAVIOR. THE TEMPORARY COLLAPSE OF EGO BOUNDARIES THAT CONSTITUTE FALLING IN LOVE IS A STEREOTYPIC RESPONSE OF HUMAN BEINGS TO A CONFIGURATION OF INTERNAL SEXUAL DRIVES AND EXTERNAL SEXUAL STIMULI, WHICH SERVES TO INCREASE THE PROBABILITY OF SEXUAL PAIRING AND BONDING SO AS TO ENHANCE THE SURVIVAL OF THE SPECIES. THIS EXPERIENCE SENDS US INTO AN EMOTIONAL ORBIT...WHICH TENDS TO DISINTEGRATE OUR REASONING ABILITIES. WHEN THE WAVES OF EMOTIONS SUBSIDE WE COME BACK TO REALITY...THAT IS THE PLACE ...WHEN ONE ARRIVES...WHERE EMOTIONAL CHOICES CAN BE MADE IN SOBRIETY.
77. REAL LOVE REQUIRES EFFORT AND DISCIPLINE. IT INVOLVES THE ACT OF WILL AND REQUIRES COMMITMENT TO THE PROCESS OF GROWTH. REAL LOVE UNITES REASON WITH EMOTION. TRUE LOVE CANNOT HAPPEN UNTIL THE "IN LOVE" ILLUSIONARY STAGE HAS RUN ITS COURSE.
78. IN VERBAL COMMUNICATION THERE ARE SEVERAL ASPECTS OF WHAT INTENTIONALLY NEEDS TO BE DEVELOPED. SPEAKING ENCOURAGING WORDS, THOSE THAT INSPIRE "COURAGE" IN THE ONE YOU LOVE. (KNOWING WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THE OTHER AND STANDING BESIDE THEM ENCOURAGING THEM TO BELIEVE IN THEIR OWN ABILITIES. PROFESSING OUR FAITH/BELIEF IN THEM TO EXPRESS EVEN MORE THEIR GIFT.) SPEAKING GENUINE WORDS OF KINDNESS AND TENDERNESS. SPEAK HUMBLE WORDS TO ONE ANOTHER AS EQUAL ADULT PARTNERS. (MAKING KNOWN OUR NEEDS AND DESIRES AS REQUESTS. COMMUNICATING THAT THEY CAN DO SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE MEANINGFUL TO YOU.) SPEAKING WORDS OF APPRECIATION...THANKFULNESS SPEAKING WORDS OF APPRECIATION FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE WHEN THEY ARE PRESENT, AMONGST OTHERS, AND WHEN ALONE.
79. TO GIVE QUALITY TIME AND TO EXPRESS YOUR FULL PRESENCE MEANS TO GIVE TIMES OF UNDIVIDED ATTENTION TO THE RELATEDNESS. TO BE FULLY PRESENT WITHOUT DISTRACTION. THIS IMPLIES TOGETHERNESS OF FOCUS...CARVING OUT THIS TIME INTO EXISTENCE IMPLIES AND EXPRESSES THAT THEY CARE ENOUGH TO GIVE THE RELATIONSHIP THE TIME IT TAKES TO FOSTER LOVE...AND TO MEET THE NEEDS. THESE TIMES NEED TO BE SCHEDULED INTO RELATEDNESS ALLOWING FOR CHANGE IF SPIRIT CALLS ONE OR BOTH IN ANOTHER DIRECTION...FLEXIBILITY. BUT HAVING INTENTION/FOLLOW THROUGH TO RE-SCHEDULE SO THAT EACH CAN FEEL THIS TO BE IMPORTANT TO THE OTHER.
80. CONSCIOUS LOVE IS EXPERIENCED TO BE SOBER AND GOOD...LOVING LIKE THIS TAKES AWAY THE EXPERIENCE OF JUST THE "BEING IN LOVE" ASPECT...EASIER TO SEE WHAT IS REALLY THERE IN PERSONALITY AND SPIRIT WITHOUT THE FLESH PULLING TWO PEOPLE INTO THE MATING DANCE WHICH THROWS UP THE ILLUSIONS INITIALLY.
81. THE WALK OF LOVE SEEMS CLEARER STARTING THIS WAY...SEEING ONE ANOTHER YOU FOR WHO EACH IS IN ESSENCE...TO EXPERIENCE LOVE BUT A SOBERING APPRECIATIVE LOVE.... NOT A SPINNING OBSESSIONAL LOVE OF EMOTIONS
82. True love warms the heart without burning it!
83. A COUPLE COMING TOGETHER WITH CHILDREN FROM THE PAST HOWEVER OLD THE CHILDREN ARE IN AGE, NEED TO UNDERSTAND INTO THE DEPTHS OF THEIR SOULS THAT THE CHILDREN OF THE OTHER ARE PART OF THE ONENESS...INSEPARABLE. TO BE EMBRACED INTO THE EQUATION...A COUPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE COMMITTED TO HELPING AND CARING FOR THE CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN EQUALLY.... AS NEEDS ARISE. SHOWING AND HAVING NO PREFERENCE IN HEART OR MIND.... EACH LOVED EQUALLY AND DEEPLY.
84. True love doesn’t play mind games, and is upfront, forthright and honest without hidden motives.
85. There could be more...I'm still thinking!
86. If a woman you are going with sees a vehicle in your driveway and she doesn’t know who it belongs to, you are immediately suspected of cheating on her.
87. A woman can say, “I love you!” and not trust you.
88. A person can say, “I love you!” to another person, and the other person ask, “Do you really?”
89. What love is to one person, might mean something different to another

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90. The word love is an acronym meaning: Living Out our Vows Equally
91. Love is what formed the universe, and comes from the ultimate source of love: God
92. If everyone loved, there would be no wars or conflicts
93. Love and anger are like oil and water: they don’t mix
94. You can’t love someone and also hate them
95. Love is a great healer
96. Love is the same in any language or culture
97. Animals also know love
98. Love is more than a feeling, it is a way of life, of living
99. You cannot teach one to love, only help another person open their hearts to it
100. You can find love in many places you look . . .except in a court room
101. "Never take someone for granted ,cause you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones."
102. Age is only a number and does not define the person
103. Judgment in a relationship is not allowed, but assessment is.
104. Asking questions in a relationship serves the purpose of improving understanding
105. A few wrongly spoken words can undue many acts of good deeds
106. The strength of a love’s bond is only as strong as the glue of commitment.
107. Love only exists in the present moment, not in the past nor the future.
108. Love is as fleeting as the rainbow . . . catch it’s beauty before it fades.

NOW, YOU TELL ME ABOUT LOVE . . . IT’S YOUR TURN!

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